Queen Of The Dirt

According to love expert Charlotte York (SATC) it takes someone exactly half of the time you spend in a relationship getting over it. I don’t know about most people but if I am ending a 15 month relationship I surely don’t have 7.5 months to spend mourning it. So how can we speed up the process?

First of all we need closure. We need to really dig deep, even if it isn’t pretty and makes us feel like doodie, and we need to figure out what went wrong. We have to learn from our mistakes so the next time we don’t make them again. Even if you think it was all the other persons fault and you were oh so perfect…you are wrong. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. So figure out what went wrong and how you will change so it doesn’t happen again. Don’t get me wrong there is no need to call the other person to let them know of your epiphany…they probably won’t care and it is probably to late.

Stay busy, don’t spend a lot of time at home alone dwelling in your pain. Make more time with your friends and family. Start working out more. Go running, get a work out tape, find a friend that has a pool and swim, lay out, and enjoy being outside in the sun.

Take a vacation. Get some friends together and head to the beach or the mountains. If you can’t get a group together go solo. Time to reflect on the past and figure out a game plan for the future is always healthy.

Redecorate your space. Get a new rug or even a new wardrobe that you think is absolutely fabulous. Spend a little more than you normally spend on something. You are worth it!!

Get a new look. Get that haircut that you have been wanting but never got because your bf/gf didn’t want you to change it.

a few don’ts…

~Don’t try to rekindle any past relationships even just for a night. Those ended for a reason just like this breakup did.
~Don’t call or im or text your ex while in a drunken stupor. You are never as brilliant as you think you are in those moments.
~Don’t ruin any of his/her things in a moment of anger.
~Don’t blame yourself, even if ultimately you are more at fault than the other person, it is to late now. No point in being so hard on yourself.
~Don’t buy that gallon of ice cream, it will only make you feel good for a moment but the 20 pounds you pack on eating yourself into a size 20 will not.

and remember…this too shall pass. It is going to be hard but you will survive.