Dumb – If you are too slow or stupid to understand jokes, it’s probably not going to work out. I’m a silly dude and if I met a woman who didn’t understand my joke, no matter how hot she was, I’d end it quickly.

Lack of Wit – I like to think I’m a quick thinker who can come up with jokes about whatever, whenever. I want a woman who can do the same.

Lack of Interest in my Work – My work involves me taking ideas and running with them. I get to express my creativity and hope it turns into $$. I have to be with a woman who is interested in my latest projects and can listen to and expand on my ideas.

Bad Kisser – I love me a make out session. If she can’t get in rhythm with me or is just a flat out bad kisser, I’m outta there!

Lame Sex – I feel like if I’m going to be in an exclusive relationship, we both better be happy and willing to do all kinds of hot stuff in the bedroom. If she “doesn’t do that” or “doesn’t feel like doing that” then she can do it all by herself or with someone else because I’m not interested. I will gladly go out of my way to please you but you better reciprocate.

Doesn’t know her way around the Kitchen – I didn’t care about this much when I was younger but now this is a big deal. I’m with a woman who can cook all kinds of meals I like and I could never see myself with anyone who can’t cook.

Farts, Belches, or talks Nasty (nasty in a bad way). I don’t think it’s too cool for a woman to be gross. I’ve met a few women like that in my day (never dated them) and wondered how any guy would want to be with them.

Shady Women – Not coming home? Dudes texting you? Going places and doing things you said you wouldn’t? I thought men were “dogs?” What are women who do these things?

Kids – My girlfriend has one which makes her the exception (she’s exceptional!) but I would say 99% of the time I wouldn’t want to be involved with a woman who has any kids. Luckily, my girlfriend’s daughter is 10 and is pretty cool. 100% of the time I couldn’t date a woman with a young kid (like 5 or younger) or multiple children. I guess because I’ve never had any children, being with someone who’s already been through all that kinda takes away from the idea of ever having one myself. It makes me happy that children (besides her own child) annoy my girlfriend just about as much as they annoy me.

She’s Religious – Blah! I believe in being a good person as much as you can.

She loves Holidays – WTF? When do you ever see people more miserable and stressed out than during holidays. Holidays are rubbish. I’m no Mr. Grinch, I just don’t like all the bullshit involved with holidays. I hate Christmas the most and Valentine’s Day is a close 2nd. I don’t EVER need a date on the calender to tell me when to be sweet to my woman. I think getting flowers or dinner on Valentine’s day should count the least. Unfortunately, women compete against each other constantly which means she’s going to be faced with, “So what did YOUR man get you.”

She doesn’t like Sports – I mean real sports, like professional football, not boring ones like baseball. Sunday is relax and watch the Saints and other teams. I want some good food, a comfortable spot on the couch, and the sounds of men beating the shit out of each other for my enjoyment. I never want to hear, “Do we HAVE to watch football?” Give me a f*cking break. I work all week and all I ask for is one day of football……now go get me a fresh beer woman! (Just kidding, Nicole)

more to come……..